A few weeks ago for Top Ten Tuesday, the topic was: Unpopular Bookish Opinions, in which I outed myself as the only human being on the planet who really just doesn’t care about Harry Potter, and has no desire to read it. Harry Potter isn’t the only thing I find myself on the other side of the fence on. I’m feeling a little nihilistic today so I figured I’d give round two a go and talk about other things people love (or dislike) that I just sort of don’t (or do).
Before you get out your pitchforks (just kidding, you guys are great!) just know that I don’t fault anyone for loving or hating the things below. People like what they like and thats what makes the world a beautiful and diverse place.
With the recent release of Avengers: Endgame (I had to google the name of this movie because that’s how little I actually care) I’ve read a lot of posts/opinions/tweets talking about what fantastic cinematic accomplishments the Marvel movies are.
And listen- maybe that’s true. But I’ve tried to watch quite a few of these (Thor, X-Men, Guardians of the Galaxy, etc. etc. and on and on) and despite being told I don’t need to watch all 87 movies to understand them, when watching them, I feel like I just don’t get it, like it’s a bunch of strung together inside jokes that I wasn’t privy to.
Thor anything should be a home run for me right? I love Vikings, I love Norse mythology… Except it turns out when you make Thor an alien from another world who’s interested in saving the Earth for some reason beyond my ken (love? was that why he cares?) my eyes glaze over and I tune out. I tried to watch it the other day actually. I think I lasted 30 seconds. And Thor is played by a Hemsworth for crying out loud:
It shouldn’t have been that difficult to make me pay attention. It was the same for Guardians of the Galaxy. I thought to myself, I can do this, I love Chris Pratt! Then the movie opened with a fight scene I didn’t understand and our intrepid heroes fled the galaxy and camped out somewhere and Pratt was rattling on about his missing father who was also David Hasselhoff, and I just stopped, asked myself WTF is going on here? And promptly shut it off. *Shrugs* Side note: Mr. Pratt- please go back to making dinosaur movies. I enjoyed those a lot more.
That’s not to say I haven’t enjoyed a few of them. Deadpool with Ryan Reynolds was amazing (I don’t think it’s a huge cinematic accomplishment, I don’t feel compelled to re-watch it ever) but it was a lot of fun. Black Panther was a huge cinematic accomplishment, both for it’s portrayal of women and for having almost an entirely black cast, but something about even that amazing movie left me mildly unsatisfied (probably the ending- I was rooting for Killmonger all the way).
ON THE OTHER HAND…
Prepare yourselves for blasphemy: I love Batman. I think a lot of it has to do with the fact that the Batman universe is a lot more recognizable to me than anything that shows up in a Marvel movie. I’ve seen most of the movies, watched a good portion of the cartoons, and most importantly, played a lot of the video games. Also, Batman as a superhero feels less… far fetched to me than most other superheroes. He’s a guy who wants to bring justice to Gotham and his superpower is money. He wasn’t bitten by a radioactive spider, he didn’t suffer accidental gamma ray exposure, he just makes more sense to me.
The villains too, often don’t have some otherworldly, freak accident reason for their powers. Joker goes loony after traumatic events, Two Face loses his shit when some jerk throws acid in his face, the Riddler… well, he’s just obsessed and uber competitive. My point is, most of the characters in Batman are frighteningly human. Plus, Batman’s got the Batmobile, which kicks the shit out of Hulk smash and Thor’s hammer and Spiderwebs. #SorryNotSorry
So while admittedly, many of the movies sort of suck, *side eyes Ben Affleck* a lot of the characters are generally more compelling. Also, can we talk about how fucking excited I am for a Joaquin Phoenix portrayal of the Joker? (Prays to the Hollywood gods: please don’t let this suck.)
Here’s a fun fact you probably didn’t want to know about me: I hate shoes and I think they’re overrated. If the world would let me, I’d go barefoot everywhere I could. Since I can’t do that, I’ll settle for the next best thing: flip-flops. I live in New England and wear them every day it’s not snowing. It is my dream that one day someone will invent actual carpet-plant so I can get out of bed every morning and feel the grass on my toes.
BILLIE EILISH, LADY GAGA AND THE REST OF THEM
I have nothing against Billie Eilish or Lady Gaga, and I’m not picking on them. They’re doing their own things, and you have to respect that. I think they’re extremely talented and have gorgeous voices. I watch the music video Bad Guy at least once a day because I love how crazy, off-the-wall Billie Eilish is, and I love the song itself.
But I tried listening to some of her other music and honestly? It was putting me to sleep. She recently did a concert in our area that received a lot of attention, so I was inevitably disappointed when a lot of her music didn’t line up with what I was hoping for. As for Lady Gaga- it’s really easy for me to randomly start chanting/singing RA RA RA-RA-RA.. but most of her music just doesn’t really speak to me. I’m not even sure I like Bad Romance, it’s just super catchy.
GAME OF THRONES
Guys. I’ve tried. Really. I binge watched four seasons once in an effort to join the office gossip every Monday. I read the first book and found it to be a solid four star read. What’s most infuriating about my inability to appreciate it, is that I don’t even know why I don’t appreciate it. It has everything I love. Powerful female characters. A full cast of morally grey characters. Smart, scheming, plotting characters. Direwolves…
Sometimes I think maybe the scope is too big for my tiny brain. Sometimes I think Martin, and the show, worked so hard to be unpredictable it became predictable. Other times I think it’s that I couldn’t find a character that survived all eight seasons that I wanted to root for. Dany annoyed me and I found the mother of dragons nonsense really bizarre. Jon Snow was too sickly sweet. Arya would have been great but I found her storyline (up until the last season where I hear she kicks ass) really boring. Cersei goes beyond morally grey into just plain evil… which probably makes her the most interesting of the four, but ugh… I. Give. Up.
I think a lot of it comes back to the fact that Game of Thrones is more about political machinations and than it is about action. Remember that first big battle that was supposed to happen? Remember how we were following Tyrion throughout? Then something happens and he gets knocked out and we get a fade to black scene and Tyrion wakes up and it’s all over? It felt really fucking lazy to me and I was super annoyed with it. And that’s not the only time the battle scenes fade to black outside of a few one on one fight scenes like The Mountain vs The Viper (which by the way, is one of those super predictable while trying to be unpredictable moments I’m referring to).
I’m sure History Channel’s Vikings doesn’t have half the budget of Game of Thrones, probably not even a fourth. But they still manage to pull off awesome battle scenes at least every three episodes. Sure it’s just people with axes and swords running around in a field, but they’re exciting, well done, and keep me engaged in the show. Furthermore, since they’re willing to kill off main characters without making a point of it, the show is significantly less predictable. Further-further-more, the characters themselves are unpredictable. I mean, we all knew Rollo was not a nice guy, but who really saw his story arc coming? Not this girl. I’m still salty about it.
Cars should all look this cool.
Also, cars should only come in one color. Black.
But seriously- it’s not that I care about “made in America” or GDP growth… (although that’s nice) I just like the style of most American cars better. Sure they’re less reliable than Toyota and Honda, they’re more expensive to fix, they’re generally gas guzzlers, but damn do I feel cool driving around in my convertible mustang. Also I love my Jeep. You can have it when you pry it out of my cold dead fingers.
Are usually super dark, depressing, and morbid. I don’t think they’re the end all be all of kids movies. I’m confused about the need for another Toy Story. Frozen was just okay (though the soundtrack was awesome). Moana is the exception, not the rule.
I DISLIKE CATS; PUGGLES AND COCKAPOOS ARE MUTTS
Oh gosh I’m going to catch a lot of hate for this one, I can feel it. First we’ll tackle the cats. I am not a cat person (if it makes you feel better, you can blame it on my allergies, which certainly have done nothing to endear them to me). I find them really annoying (stop rubbing on my legs okay? it’s weird), I don’t trust them because even when they like you they bite you, and they all look like they are secretly plotting your death.
Okay, The Dark Lord is an extreme example. But when a cat makes eye contact I usually want to duck and run. I like watching funny cat videos as much as the next person… but I want the cats to stay in my computer screen. I do not want them near me.
Puggles, Cockapoos, Labradoodles… these aren’t designer dog “breeds”. They’re mutts. Let’s call a spade a spade. And honestly? Mutts make the best dogs anyway. They’re healthier because their inbred genes have had a chance to self-correct, they’re unique, and they can bring you just as much happiness as any other dog.
Meet Mickey. He’s a Pugwawa. Just kidding. He’s a mutt. Go ahead, tell me he’s not adorable.
BOSTON RED SOX
I loathe baseball season. I live in Rhode Island. For those of you who don’t know, we’re the unfortunate bastard cousin of Massachusetts, and we are also not an island.
What that means is, every baseball season, I have to listen to baseball stats and Red Sox disappointments or Red Sox gloating, and I just don’t care. I wish they’d stayed cursed. There, I said it.
ON THE OTHER HAND…
I’m a totally unapologetic Patriots fan, and football season is way too short. I hope Brady never retires.
Here it is. The ultimate unpopular opinion. I hate Facebook. I have a profile… I don’t use it. If I’m invited to a party via Facebook, I’ll *probably* get an email notifying me I was invited, to which I will look at the invitation, promptly delete the email, and move on with my life. I don’t want to go to that party that badly, and if the host/hostess can’t be bothered to send me a text message to invite me, they clearly don’t want me there that badly.
I also don’t want to see all the memes and posts where people bemoan their existence or say things like ‘just put your faith in God’ or whatever other nonsense that pops into their head. I don’t need a running garbage dump of their inner most thoughts. They’re not as clever/funny/original/unfortunate as they think they are. And listen- that’s not personal. I’m not any of those things either. That’s why I don’t use it (side note, maybe I just need better friends?). Also… Facebook is spying on you. Have you seen that movie the Circle? Just saying.
So go ahead, acid rain all over my unpopular opinion parade. I can take it. But also, tell me some of your unpopular opinions so I can feel not so alone.